Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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