so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
