Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just saw a hot homeless man
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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