could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
