Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you didnt know i had herpes?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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