Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
her facebook's as public as her vagina
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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