ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
