dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize