Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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