I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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