Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
