I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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