the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
