Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Apparently you make a good broom.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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