The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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