Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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