Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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