Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize
