Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize