We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
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Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
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Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I have aggressive nipples.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize