You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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