Yo dont text me then not text me
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
