When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
