I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
