Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
