Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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