i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
