Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
