I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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