I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize