its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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