the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
where are you?
Hypothermia
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize