your parents love me but you hate me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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