Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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