Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
well you can't waste a boner
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
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For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
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I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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