i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
