Pappa wants mamma naked
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize