She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
