I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
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