I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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