This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize