we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize