He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
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Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
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Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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