we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
People in love make me want to vomit
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
