Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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