she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
