I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
