im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
