My brain says no but my pants say off.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!