google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.