Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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