y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
