morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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