I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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