why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
