if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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