oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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