So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
