There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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