I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
