Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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