She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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